Forgive me.....

... am I changing?...
I've changed so drastically... I cant recognize my own character anymore...

More then once have someone told me straight to my face that I am no longer who I used to be...
More then once have someone told me straight to my face that I am no longer the person I used to be...

Somebody told me yesterday that I have changed... within a short time span of 2 years, I have changed into.... something I never ever wanted to be...

words like...
Arrogant
Hard-hearted
Blind
Pessimistic
Crazy
Possesed
Dull
Depressed

2 years... within a time span of 2 years... countless unimaginable things happened to me...
Transforming my character for the worst...

I dont wanna fall...

I'm losing every single thing I set out to achieve...

Friends
Future
Happiness
Hope....

Where is the Andrew that everybody once knew?....
The answer is...
he is still there.... but lost in the warped labyrinth of life....

I'm but a shell of my former self...
I'm but a ghost of my former person...

help me.... find my way back.... please.....


I'm really sorry to all those that I have ever hurt, accidentally or out of spite... I hope that you all will forgive me...
I will try to change.... for the better....

like my very first entry in this blog, "I will change, for the better, come wind, come rain... I will endure, because my destiny had been set in place on this earth."

I love my friends....
I love my family....
I love my God...


.... forgive me?....